get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
