Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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