I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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