I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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