I accidentally had phone sex last night
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
