this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
