Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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