When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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