gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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