my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think my fart just growled at me.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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