Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
