Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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