Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize