i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
