Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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