you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize