why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize