you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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