No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
