I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
