i permit you to call me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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