GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
