I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
