I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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