If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
