On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
