great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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