that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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