she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
