I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
