goodnight i made you a song goodbye
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So vagazzling was a success
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
