I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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