Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
