I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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