Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
