I'm jealous of your bromance
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
