You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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