If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
