i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
