I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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