Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
