I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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