It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
