There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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