We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So squirting runs in the family.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
