matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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