I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize