so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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