Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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