Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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