My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
