Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
