he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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