my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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