His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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