Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
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I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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