Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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