id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
