ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
