so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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