So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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