But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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