i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
