Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
