Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
