i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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